Teaser: Pasablog!!! Why I started blogging

Bakit nga ba nagsimulang magblog si Mr. Brightside? At bakit ang emo emo nang batang ito?

I will quote Julie Andrews when she played Maria in The Sound of Music "Let's start from the beginning, a very good place to start."

Here's a teaser of my upcoming post...

Sometime in December 2009...

His brother went home to the province so he invited me to spend the weekend at his place. We chilled, watched movies, he showed me his blog (yep, isa siyang blogger... Pasabog! or should I say Pasablog!) and I read some of his posts, he cooked (it was decent...edible...hehe), we slept and we slept together/made love/had sex (whichever term/phrase you may prefer). Monday came, I had to go to work, he had to go home to the province to spend Christmas with his family. I left his place smiling, thinking, this may really be it, my search may be over. But apparently, circumstances would yet again pull a cruel joke on me.

...To be continued

Random thoughts

Ang sugat pinakamasakit kapag pagaling na

Haiku, hay naku

Rainy Thursday:
Come, saturate me now
Pour, quench my burning desire

Singular

Thoughts of a single guy

1. It is hard...
to get hurt by someone you love, it is painful
2. It is difficult...
to lose someone we've become accustomed to
3. But after the hurt we find strength
After the loss, we find ourselves again...
better than what we were before
4. There are things that you need to do alone...
Family and friends can only do so much...
It all boils down to you and the choices you make
5. Some people are meant to be apart for them to grow...
The question is, will that growth lead two people back to each other? Back to
love?
Or will growth, time, circumstances lead them farther apart?
6. I am not expecting from anything from anyone anymore.
I've learned that the key to happiness is having lesser expectations.
That way, you're allowing yourself to be surprised.
7. I've learned that my happiness should not depend on someone else,
Because if that someone disappears,
So will my happiness
8. I've learned that when you love someone and that someone loves you back,
It doesn't mean you own the person...
It doesn't mean you have infinite chances...
One way or another, that person will eventually leave
9. Forever only exists in fairy tales,
In our vulnerable imagination,
In our "free-est" dreams,
In our hopeless romantic hearts,
But never in reality
10. Still...
No matter how shitty things may get
I will always believe...
Always hope...
Always yearn...
For my "happily ever after"

Why do I believe in crap?

I heard this statement from Toni Gonzaga when she was interviewed for the movie You Are the One (with Sam Milby aka Ultimate Crush)

"Falling in love, even at the wrong place and at the wrong time... If it's the right person you'll forget all of it"

Statements like the one stated above are poison to a hopeless romantic like me. Why do I believe in such fairy tales and castles-it's ok to take a risk-lovey dovey crap!? Why do I still believe? Minsan naiisip ko, disadvantage maging hopeless romantic, lalo na kung PLU ka. Sana pasex na lang ako. Sana etits ko na lang pinapairal ko hindi puso, kasi pag puso ang pinapairal, dehado.

P#+@&$!*a!!!!!

Pasensya na, kailangan lang mag-rant.

Wonder by Jack Savoretti

I will serenade this song to someone someday ^_^

Untitled

Isn't it sad how much effort you put into forgetting someone? Kung saan lupalop ka pumupunta, kung sino-sino tinatagpo mo, kung anu-ano ang ginagawa mo para lang maging ok ka. Nagpapakalunod ka sa trabaho, nanood ng sandamukal na dvds, buong araw naglalaro psp, lahat gagawin mo para lang maalis ang isip mo sa taong nawala sa'yo. But at the end of the day, siya pa rin.

It's been three months since he left for Singapore. Siya ang GBF (Gay Best Friend) ko... and then some... but like he always tells me "you're more than a best friend to me."... he was more than a best friend to me... Naiintindihan ko siya kung bakit kailangan niya umalis, para sa mga pangarap niya at para sa pamilya niya. Ang di ko naiintindihan ay yung paraan kung paano niya ako iniwan. It was days before he left. I really blame the tequila, but more than the tequila i blame the kiss... dahil dun lahat ng pinilit kong ibaon na emotions resurfaced.

I loved him. I love him. He loved me, but not as much. He wanted an open relationship, i wanted exclusivity. I did not choose him, I chose someone else, who eventually made me regret. It was a mistake of epic proportions. Sana kumapit pa ako a little more. Sana I gave him a reason to stay.

Ngayon, i feel stupid for feeling these things. I mean wala nang sense. Di na siya babalik. Matagal siyang di babalik. Time will soon erase what we had. Mahirap pag kalaban mo oras na. Mahirap pag gusto mo pang ipaglaban, gusto mo pang umasa pero wala ka nang magagawa. All I'm left with is unnecessary emotions and the good memories tattooed in my head (and in my heart).

"...'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even no...

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you

What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok

I'm falling to pieces

I'm falling to pieces"

Mahal kita.

Ikaw pa rin.